Direction

Well, I have obviously not found time to post in the last month, what with vacation, working more hours than is sane, and trying to keep up on everything I should be doing (a.k.a working more than FT and being a good homemaker)...and then feeling like I am failing miserably in the process! I did not get into school and therefore am floating listlessly in noman's land again. What a frustrating place to be.
Life is too short to be floating listlessly. SO I have decided to really focus on my beliefs. I have restarted the Young Women's Personal Progress goals (I did complete it while I was in Young Womens). Even though I am not a Young Women anymore, I felt like this could provide some direction to my life. I am really going to try and stay focused. I have also decided to learn some new skills; skills that will make me more self reliant. I'm also hoping to reapply for a different school program for next September. With these goals in mind, I am hoping to create new direction for my life, making it an all around better life to be involved in!

Down and Out

I've been feeling really down and negative lately. I am really struggling to find happiness and hope right now. However, I have been feeling more motivated to be physically active and to be more careful about what I eat...which is a good thing, right? I started reading a book about being a positive impact. Actually it's called Positive Impacts by Doug Hissong. It is a most excellent read and actually a fairly easy read. A lot of what he says is very profound in a simple way. Although I am finding it difficult to implement it in my life right now.

I've discovered that Option A (which is going to school in the Fall) may still have a shred of hope-a very small shred, but a shred nonetheless. Maybe this will help on my journey to positive thinking?

I really wanted to share this quote by Helen Keller: "Keep your face in the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow."

Wow. What an amazing statement. I decided that I should make that my goal statement for now. I think it would really help aline my sight with where I need to go.

I realize that my thoughts have been appearing rather scattered and all over the place, but that is simply because they are. My posts seem to trail off into nothingness without a definite end. But that is how life is for me at the moment. I'm hoping and praying for blue skies in the future.

Gray Skies

Well, amid all happiness and optimism, there always are clouds of doubt or frustration. Nothing seems to be going the way I thought it would. Option A for the fall is obviously not happening...Option B has bleak, at best, prospectives for working out. Too bad I don't have an Option C to rely on-yet! I choose these options because they feel good and right. They are worthwhile goals...but yet, I can't help wonder what I am supposed to be doing if none of my options are working out. I feel like I'm in such a rut, not ever going anywhere. I've been working at the same deadend job for 6 years. It's been a wonderful opportunity with many chances for opportunity and growth, but I've hit the top of where I'm going to or can go at this organization. I know that we need to work and try to get as far as possible and that the Lord will help with the rest. I've felt for some time now that I need to move on and continue learning and experiencing new things. I just don't know what. Maybe a little more patience, pondering, and listening is needed from me?

New Things!

Why, hello there! Today and yesterday are full of new things. I found a lovely new dress, shrug, and wallet! I never splurg on myself, so this was kind of nice. And to top it all off, today, I found not one, but two pairs of black shoes that actually fit me! ON SALE! And I LOVE them! Now, you must understand what a feat this is: Number one: I have size 10 feet, which means most shoes look like clown shoes. Number two: I have been looking for a pair of black shoes I like that fit for the last year! I was looking for flats, and these are anything but flat...but I'm okay with that. They were good finds! And it's good timing because my dog chewed the bows off my black shoes. So 5 yr. old black shoes, it is time to retire to somewhere else. You've served me well!
On other notes, I got some new things to decorate my house with and a new bed and some toys for my dogs. It really has been an EXPENSIVE week...I'll have to cut a few other things this month. But I'm okay with that. I don't spend money on things we don't need very often, so a week like this once in awhile is okay, isn't it?
Also, starting tomorrow-but really yesterday- begins my forced fast from my best friend in the whole wide world (other than my husband). She is moving across the country for a school program and I probably won't get to see her until Christmas. :( It will have been the longest I have gone without seeing her in 17 years. I really have no clue how I will manage. Thank goodness for technology. That's all I can say.

It's Been Awhile

Wow, it certainly has been awhile. It's amazing what things get left behind when you become really busy. I am still waiting on the results from my jump a month and a half ago. Which brings me to some reflecting and pondering about why I have to wait so long. I never have liked waiting...I am in fact a fairly impatient person when it comes to a lot of things. So maybe I am being taught patience right now. However, it doesn't always make it easier, knowing that you are being taught a valuable lesson. I wonder how long I will have to be patient for?
I have been trying to decide on where I would like my life to go and Option 1 is cancelled out for now...2 years of patience and I decided to persue a different dream and now I am waiting on that too. I am beginning to really wonder where my life is supposed to go and what I am supposed to do. The thing is, if Option 2 doesn't work out, I don't even know what the next option is. I need some ideas and thoughts to come to me regarding this. I know that the Lord works in mysterious ways and that one way or another I will arrive where I need to; His hand is everywhere in my life. I am realizing more and more that God has a plan for us and that there is a reason for everything.
I really don't know where else to go with this at this point in time, so here's me hoping that Option 2 will work out!

Exhaustion and Sorrow

Well, ladies and gents. This has been a tough week. A number of things happened that really made me grateful for my faith and also my husband. I had a dear friend pass away. He was 12. I was okay with it- as he had been ill for awhile- until I found out how unpleasant his death was. I thought it would be peaceful, but it wasn't to be so. I haven't cried yet today, so that's a first! He passed away on Wednesday; I found out on Thursday. That was the largest event of my week. I didn't realize it would be such a struggle. Even though I know that he is happier where he is and that he isn't in pain, he is sorely missed. But life will-must- go on. Here's to looking forward to the adventures of this coming week and hope that they bring joy!

One of the Best Dinners EVER!

Who am I kidding? It probably isn't the best dinner ever...just a really delicious, quick one with tons of delicious flavour bursts mixed into it!! Here's the recipe:

2 (6 oz.) cans of white albacore tuna
2 Tbsp. of butter (or less if you want to be healthier)
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
2 Tbsp. dried parsley flakes
1/2 cup chicken broth
1 cup heavy cream (I used buttermilk and it was really good!)
1 cup of thawed frozen peas
Freshly grated parmesan cheese, for topping (optional)
Freshly ground black pepper, for topping (optional
Lemon wedges, for topping (optional)

Drain the flaked tuna and saute it with the butter over medium heat until hot. Stir in lemon juice, cayenne pepper, parsley flakes, chicken broth, and heat thoroughly. Add cream and heat, making sure the mixture doesn't reach a boil. Serve over pasta, topped with parmesan cheese, pepper, and lemon wedges.

Serves 4 to 6.


SO GOOD!

JUMP

Well, I finally took a jump. I jumped off a cliff and am hoping that someone or something will catch me. I have discovered it is a lot easier to stay safe in familiar and comfortable situations than it is to jump into the unknown. I have had few joyous responses to my jump. Many people have been critical and seem to feel as if I made a foolish decision. I have only had the supportive backing of a couple of people.
Sometimes it is hard to go out on a limb and to choose something different and better for yourself. Sometimes you aren't necessarily in a bad situation, just a comfortable, unchallenging and therefore, unrewarding one. It becomes necessary for your progression to take the jump into unknown and uncertain waters. I think that however necessary that jump may be, many people choose not to do it and they never accomplish their full potential, although they may be satisfied with where they are.
I choose not to be just satisfied. I choose to be happy and joyful in life and pleased with myself. I can't sit any longer and listen to people tell me that I am fine where I am at and that things aren't certain and may be harder once I land. I am fine where I am at and my days will be exactly the same, day in and day out if I don't choose to change them. Sure, there will be lots of uncertainty, maybe even some failures or losses, but isn't that what we are here for? To learn from our mistakes, to increase our knowledge, to grow in wisdom and experience? I fully anticipate that some parts of my life will become more uncertain and maybe even really difficult to get through, but with my Heavenly Father's help, I will achieve what I have set out to do and more. I am excited for this opportunity to challenge and motivate my mind, body, and soul. I took the jump, what are you waiting for?

Testimony of the Book of Mormon

While the Sun Shines!

There was once a girl from the shores

She hated doing chores.

So she sat all day,

and said "Why make hay?

When the sun doesn't shine anymore?"

The Sacrifice of the Lilacs: A Tragedy

A Story (told by a one Natasha)
One time, there were some bushes planted in a flower garden. However, the people who planted them had no clue what they were doing so they overcrowded them. The bushes lived a sad and unsatisfied life because none of them had enough food to eat. All of them wanted the other bushes to be happy and to have enough food, but it wasn't to be. The choices of human beings had made these bushes live a hard life of hunger. One day, a person came along and weeded the bushes' garden. This person listened to the bushes soft crying. So the person asked, "What is wrong little bushes? Why are you so sad?"

They softly stifled their sobs and whispered, " Those terrible other people have put too many of us in one spot and now we are hungry."


"What a terrible thing for them to do!" cried the person. "Can I help you to not be hungry anymore?"

"Yes! Yes!" bushes shrieked with happiness. "That would be positively lovely!"
The person frowned for a moment and then sadly replied, "I am afraid that there is only one way that will be long lasting. It will require a sacrifice from 2 of you. Are any of you willing to do it?"

"Well, what is involved?" asked one of the bushes.


"Well, two of you will have to be uprooted. It could turn out alright and no one would be hungry anymore...BUT there is a chance that you could DIE!" explained the person

The bushes became quiet and a little subdued. Finally the two lilac bushes spoke up. "We will do it. We want to grow bigger than this space will allow for. We will sacrifice so that we may have the possibility of doing so.

and because we love the other bushes so much."


The person said, "Okay, I will find another place for you, lilac bushes."

The bushes all cheered and waited. They waited for close to a year and they still hadn't heard from the person



In fact, it had been so long that the bushes were beginning to think that the person was lying to them or that maybe it had all been a dream

One day, the person came back. "I'm sorry that I haven't been back to see you. I felt bad for you lilac bushes. Nobody wants you to be planted in their gardens. I was afraid to tell you this," apologized the person.

The lilac bushes began to cry along with the other bushes. They cried so much that they flooded the garden with their tears and they began to shrivel up and dry out.

The person felt terrible and added their tears to the bushes tears.

Then the person realized that the bushes were drying up and stopped crying. "Please stop crying, bushes, you'll dry up and then be hungry and thirsty. Then where will we be?"

The lilac bushes were still sad, but they sniffed a couple times and started soaking their tears back up through their roots. "Well, we love our friends very much. We would do anything to help them survive and to have healthy lives. Even though nobody wants us, we will still give our lives for them."

The person was shocked that a plant knew how to be so selfless. "Are you sure?"
The other bushes were sad that their friends, the lilacs would have to go. They tried to convince them not to go, but to no avail. The lilacs were convinced that they needed to leave in order for their friends to survive and they would have it no other way.

The other bushes were sad that their friends, the lilacs would have to go. They tried to convince them not to go, but to no avail. The lilacs were convinced that they needed to leave in order for their friends to survive and they would have it no other way.

Reluctantly, the person got out their shovel and started digging. The lilacs went with smiles on their faces. They waved a tearful good-bye to their friends and went on their way to a new adventure.

The end

Ode to Chocolate Milk

Once there was some chocolate milk powder and some milk. One lived in the cupboard and one in the fridge. They always knew something was missing from their lives, but they couldn't figure out what. They were both sad and felt they were leading unfulfilling lives...

Comment: oh dear

Then one day, Natasha came along and mixed them together and it was splendid and they thought what a grand life it was to be chocolate milk. They rejoiced and were happy. And then Natasha drank them and it was good

Comment: oh happy deay

and it wasn't painful for them because they didn't have to be chewed so they were still happy

Comment: interesting